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For many years now, I’ve gone online in search of intelligent people writing about soap operas. For the most part, what I discovered on this sad journey was that the websites and forums out there confine themselves to crowing about unsubstantiated casting rumors; bitching about head writers and in some cases mocking their physical appearance; waxing nostalgic over their shows’ past greatness (1979 to 1994 seems to be the period most fans of any show want back); or expressing unhealthy, orgasmic devotion to a particular couple and threatening to boycott viewing if that couple is not front and center every day.

Whither the intelligent criticism? The easy answer is that no one intelligent is watching soap operas (or, indeed, making them), but I don’t believe that. I’m a populist, and despite what Nielsen insists are plummeting ratings I believe that there are plenty of people out there watching soaps, some fervently and some casually. Any poll on the street would tell you that almost everyone can name at least one soap opera (General Hospital and Days of Our Lives are the most recognizable) and at least two-thirds can name at least one soap star (you know who!). Soap viewers are not just lonely women with too many cats, gay men in college, elderly shut-ins, or any of the other stereotypical groups we are told are the last devotees of a dying entertainment form.

Likewise, soap operas themselves are not the turgid, badly acted and produced cheese-fests that American popular culture (and NBC) insists they are. Like any television art, soaps are capable of great things. They’re also capable of astonishing inanity, and sometimes they deserve their bum rap. But over the years a lot of effort and thought has been put into the daily creation of these shows, and I think just as much thought should be put into their criticism and dissection.

I’m tired of the inferiority complex that’s taken hold of daytime television. If it’s acceptable to talk about CSI or its kin in critical terms, it should be the same for As the World Turns. That’s what I want to do here.

And I suppose there will probably be some bitching.

But here are my promises:

I will not write about rumors, imminent dismissals, or supposed upcoming storylines. I’m going to talk about what has actually been on the air.

I will try to discuss all the soaps currently on the air, though I could not possibly keep up with them all every day. And I will try, really hard, to sit through an entire episode of Passions.

I will frequently travel back in time. There will be Knots Landing posts, and Santa Barbara posts, and maybe mention of Bobby Ewing in the shower. Sometimes we have to look back at where we’ve been to know where we’re going.

I will never refer to couples by their stupid combined names used online and, now, sadly, the soap press. When I write about, say, Lucky and Liz, I will call them Lucky and Liz.

Similarly, I will refer to actors and actresses by their full names, not their initials, as I know how to type.

I will try always to be entertaining and maintain a sense of humor in my posts. We’re all too serious and defensive about everything these days. It’s okay to have fun talking about this stuff. I will reserve my moral indignation for reacting to actual news.

Now: It’s 4 p.m. Soaps are over on the East Coast. Let’s start talking.